Sunday, Bloody Sunday

18 September 2011

0912hrs

As Family Day approaches (12 days now) my mind starts fixating on what it is that I miss about the free life.  As self-guided day, chow of choice, operated on my clock, at my pace. Today we waited out front of the DFAC (Dining Facility) for an hour & 45 minutes while four other companies circled through.  Long morning.

However, on the upside we DID transition to Blue Phase last night.  ARM, U.S. Weapons Week & our first two FTX's (Field Training Exercise) are behind us, along with our 2K, 5K & 9K ruck marches and the easier early morning PT.  Next up:  Combatives, Pugil Sticks, Eagle Tower, Grenades, M9 Qualification, 16K ruck march, 3-day FTX & Family Day.

Then Tanks.

The tempo is increasing rapidly.  Now that we are two weeks from Family Day (the approaching end of our OSUT's BCT portion) the standards we are held to are even higher, and the punishments are more severe.  By now, they say, you should know better.

Mail drop is becoming more infrequent, so we hear from home maybe once a week.  Some Drill Sergeants say that it is because the Mail Room is FUBAR, but the honest to God truth of the matter is that the Drill Sergeants are too lazy to separate the Company's mail every day, so they let it pile up.

As much as I would like to blame them for my slow response time, however, THAT one is entirely my fault.  The last two weeks have seen some of the longest, most exhausting days, and my desire AND ability to write have both been smothered beneath a blanket of...hmm..(case in point:  my metaphor escaped me as soon as I tried to write it.)  This place leaves one frazzled, distracted and a little sleepy.

Hmmm....what else?

Last week we rocked the Obstacle Course, and with the exception of two soldiers who are flat out terrified of heights, we FLEW through each station cheering & laughing.  It was a kick in the pants, even though we showed up before dawn and got flat out smoked until sundown.

I wish there was more to tell, but frankly there is so much about this place that has to be experienced in its most base repetitive sameness.  How do I communicate Fireguard, 0430 wakeup, marching, waiting for hours at parade rest, discussing each place we've lived in gruesome detail, the women we've loved, the family we miss, the lives we want, our fears about deployment and false bravado towards the terrifying fact that we are learning to be killers.  How do I teach you my new culture through pen, ink and thousands of miles?

I can't, and that is why you all feel so far away.  I replay every memory I can find in the dusty old files, seeing you, hearing your voice, laughing with you one more time.  I imagine how I'd like to spend another day with you, where we'd go and what we would do, but I always return to the dull ache in the center of my heart where your company used to be.

I miss you all.  I'll be home mid-November and I will be looking for you.

Rock & mischief

TJ